The Queerest Podcast
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The Queerest Podcast is your cosmic guide to the Queer Universe. Hosted by Andraé BVR, each episode takes you on an interstellar journey through queer culture, identity, and influence. From dismantling media tropes to exploring queer representation, we invite you to challenge norms and expand your horizons. So, buckle up, set your phasers to fabulous—close encounters of the queerest kind await!
The Queerest Podcast
TRANSFORMING THE NARRATIVE: Centering Black Trans Voices
What does it mean to rewrite the narrative—on your own terms?
In this episode of The Queerest Podcast, host Andraé BVR is joined by Marie-Adélina de la Ferrière—equalpride’s Community Editor and your favorite Lovable Trans Auntie—to talk Black trans joy, storytelling as survival, and the radical power of being seen. From the media myths she’s helping dismantle to the unlikely journey of acceptance from her 80-year-old Haitian grandfather, Marie-Adélina opens up about family, advocacy, and becoming the role model she never had growing up.
This episode is a celebration of growth, generational healing, and the everyday magic of showing up—loud, soft, and everything in between.
We have these established voices. They should have been part of these outlets take the decision to keep including us in these conversations, because I know it's going to continue to happen over the next year or two, so I hope by including trans voices, that is another element in humanizing our experience and humanizing our experience.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Queerest Podcast, your cosmic guide to the queer universe. Hosted by Andre BVR, each episode takes you on an interstellar journey through queer culture, identity and influence. From dismantling media tropes to exploring queer representation. We invite you to challenge norms and expand your horizons. So buckle up and set your phasers to fabulous Close encounters of the queerest kind await.
Speaker 3:Greetings, cosmic queers and allies. Welcome to the Queerist Podcast. I am your host, andre BVR, and today we are honored to share space with a remarkable voice in our universe, marie Adelina de la Ferrier. Marie Adelina is a Haitian-American trans woman, a respected journalist and an advocate committed to uplifting Black trans voices. She currently serves as a writer-editor at Equal Pride, shaping narratives across the Advocate Out, outtraveler Plus and Pridecom. She's also the creator of Lovable Trans Auntie, an advice column and online persona that brings humor, wisdom and fierce authenticity to conversations about identity, love and resilience.
Speaker 3:With a background in community organizing and a passion for storytelling, maria Adelina has dedicated her career to ensuring Black trans stories are not just told but celebrated. She has spoken at national conferences, contributed to groundbreaking LGBTQ plus media initiatives and continues to challenge harmful stereotypes through her work. We'll dive into her journey as a Black trans woman, the impact of her advocacy and the urgent need to protect trans lives. Amidst ongoing attacks, with legislative efforts restricting gender-affirming care, limiting military service and even prohibiting pronouns in federal emails, it's more critical than ever to uplift voices like Maria Delina. Maria Delina, welcome to the show.
Speaker 1:Critical than ever to uplift voices like Maria Delina. Maria Delina, welcome to the show. Oh my God, thank you so much. I always like try my best not to tear up whenever there's an introduction, so I appreciate it.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much, of course, no, honestly, like I'm so grateful to have you here. I think you know you are a leader in our community, of all the work that you do, your visibility, your representation, and I think it's much needed and you kind of nourish our community in that way. So I want to say thank you for that before we get started.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 3:Absolutely so, marita Lena, I want to kind of start at the beginning of like your personal journey. You you recently shared your transition story and the advocate taking readers through your journey from socially transitioning as a teen to starting hormone therapy in your 30s. Can you talk about the challenges that you faced along the way, particularly as a Black trans woman navigating familial expectations, systemic barriers, personal growth and then could you share any specific moments that kind of shaped your identity and resilience?
Speaker 1:Sure, well, I always start by saying my story is not part of the monolith of the trans experience. It's more of our experience, just like our existence in the overall queer community. It's a tapestry. So my journey is just one thread that makes our community, that makes the trans experience beautiful and authentic and powerful. And I also start by sharing the story of my own lovable trans auntie who was fearless, courageous, authentically herself. People loved her or hated her. There were a lot of haters, but she still kept on going and I looked up to her in a time way before we had the media representation of the 2010s, like she started her journey in the late 90s, early 2000s. So if you think about what was representation like in the media, I mean we usually had things that were like those is she or isn't she type of shows, right yep or caricatures of trans women, often trans women in in media and they were almost always negative equally problematic
Speaker 1:extremely problematic. So it was having that type of person in my life and in my family really did shape how people perceived the trans experience Still being the oldest child and the oldest grand era but they still didn't really understand the queer liberation journey and being the oldest child and oldest grandchild of an immigrant family born several decades later. There was just a lot of this burden and responsibility to be the best. I couldn't get B's or C's, I always had to get A's. I always had to look and present in a certain way and that was a lot of pressure for a kid, I mean like an eight, nine year old. At the same time, trying to identify this feeling inside me, like what is this feeling? I feel like I'm trapped in my own body.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it wasn't until my aunt started her transition. I was like that's it, that's what I want to be. My aunt started her transition. I was like that's it, that's what I want to be. And unfortunately, well, it's like a fortunately and unfortunately at the time, because I started my social transitioning at about 15, 16. So I was a freshman in high school and it was so weird because, well, not weird. It was so interesting because, like everyone didn't know that they just assumed I just shaved, I was a bald headed girl until my first time going into the gym and it was like separated gym rooms, oh, like, oh, ok, surprise. And it was so interesting because, like my grandmother was very supportive and she was also supportive of my aunt, my grandfather was kind of in the middle.
Speaker 1:My mother just did not. She did not accept it and it was. You know, thinking about the reasons, her reasons, then I see those similar reasons in some parents today the fears of their kid not getting the access to things like healthcare, housing, employment. So her fear turned into hate, which turned into anger, and it was very unfortunate, and unfortunately for me, I accepted the family burden and decided to go back into the closet. But then, after my aunt, kiki, died in 2013 and my grandmother died that same year, I just realized I only have one life to live. Yeah, just live it. Yeah, who cares? So I would say three years later, I started my transitioning and it's been a wonderful journey. Wonderful journey and even though there's been some blocks in the road, I always say it's been a wonderful journey because the turnaround of acceptance from my grandfather, who was a 70, 80 year old Haitian man learning about transgenderism, Right.
Speaker 1:And people say that you know for when you get older, you just don't want to learn things. You're stuck in your ways. That's not true. If my 70, late 70s-year-old grandfather can do it, anyone can do it. But, most importantly, seeing that love and support from my mother and my mother is like my biggest ally, my biggest advocate. I never imagined that. I mean, we go out and we shop for clothes, we go shop for makeup, we get our nails done. I wouldn't have imagined that as a kid and having that now has just been amazing. Outside of all of the professional success and accolades, like having my mother as my biggest supporter has been beyond amazing.
Speaker 3:That's beautiful and would love to kind of understand a little bit, like I think, with like a lot of families you know, whether being queer or trans, I think there's like always that like learning period that they have to kind of go through, and there's like a fear and a lack of knowledge. But it's like how, how do you think you aided in kind of educating your family on who you were and how did that process go?
Speaker 1:I didn't educate them. It was honestly the impact of media and my mother, and not just my mother. When people started watching Pose, they could recognize my late aunt's experience because by then my aunt had passed already. And then seeing the show and seeing and like comparing it to my aunt's journey, because my aunt was also in the ballroom scene, really big in the ballroom scene, and then just learning through that and I'm like I was right here You're going to learn from me. But to see them like sit and watch the show and immerse themselves in the show, that was a beautiful thing. So I never had to give them a book, we never had to go to, you know, group meetings. It was actually them sitting there and watching shows like Pose that had such a tremendous impact on their perspective of the trans experience, especially the experience for black and brown trans people.
Speaker 1:Right Like that was just a beautiful thing. And then to see my mother just openly embrace me and accept me, that's beautiful yeah.
Speaker 3:That's incredible. And did they just discover the show, or did you like, recommend the show to them, or how did they come across it?
Speaker 1:I don't even know how they came across it. I think I honestly think it was because of that conversation was just starting. You know, we had LeBron Cox on Orange is the New Black, and then Transparent and then Pose pose. So it was just all of the conversations around trans experience and these portrayals but also trans lives in the general population and the need for, for equity and equality, and I was like I, when my mother shared, shared I'm not sure if she shared a link or if she asked me if I was watching the show and I was like yeah, and then she's like, oh, oh, I think she said Candy reminded her her of, of her sister Kiki, and I was like yeah, and, and just like seeing them like have that.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, this is like how it is. But you still find chosen family, you still persevere against all odds, and that was just such a beautiful experience to see my mother learn through this art form and it truly shows how art can be that creative force for change, that it can change perspectives, it can change lives. So, yeah, I'm truly thankful for if anyone from Pose sees this, thank you so much.
Speaker 3:Yes, and for those who have not seen Pose fantastic television. The acting, the costuming, the set design, like everything is just so brilliant. So if you have not seen it, please check it out. It is such a phenomenal show. So I want to kind of take a step back a little bit and kind of actually talk a little bit about Aunt Kiki. Can you share a little bit more about how she shaped your advocacy and what carrying her legacy on means to you? And I guess even double clicking to that is do you have a specific story about her that continues to guide your work today?
Speaker 1:I'll start with a story. It's it's a story, but it's also a video and it's about I just remember it still but she was hosting a ball here and I don't know what the category was or if it was just a made-up category. But on the screen pops up my grandmother and she's just walking down and everyone's like clapping and applauding and that was just like Kiki, just like just being Kiki, just not only being herself, but always opening up her world to anyone and everyone who's willing to learn and accept. And that's just how I've always moved forward and Kiki has always been more of an older sister rather than an aunt. I mean, there was like only four years between us and she was just amazing. I mean you can always know when she's coming because her music would be blasting down the street and it was like trumpets announcing the Queen's arriving and she was just like awesome. There's so many like experiences with her that I'm just like she was amazing.
Speaker 1:The only sad thing is that that burden once again it goes to the burden of the family placed on me wanting to live a life that they wanted me to live. Right, there was this growing separation between us and that was unfortunate because I would have learned so much about what it meant to be a trans woman growing up in the early 2000s. What it was like to be a Black trans woman who navigated the system, the public sphere, the private sphere when it came to relationships, but, most importantly, what it was to be a strong, empowered, authentic, unapologetic Black trans woman, regardless of what era you're in. Because she knew of of the legacies of silver rivera and marcia p johnson. That wasn't taught in school, she just knew because some of her elders talked about that and those elders were around when silver rivera and marcia p johnson were around and and Marsha P Johnson were around. And yeah, it's just. Yeah, there's just so many stories. I'm trying not to cry, but no, no, no of course.
Speaker 1:She was just so amazing and thinking about her and thinking about how she always opened her door and opened her life to everyone, that continues to inspire me in my work. I'm never afraid of of saying I'm trans or acknowledging I'm trans. I know I'm trans. I don't have to hide who I am, most especially in this era of Trump. I may look like this, but, trust me, I can throw it out Like, let it be known, and I just. The one thing that Kiki kept teaching, even though she never taught it to me, was that fear is the greatest enemy of life and never give in to fear and always show up in your most authentic self. Always show up and be present in the self that you, you as a child, would look up to and be wowed and amazed, just yeah she was just that girl.
Speaker 1:She was just that girl I. I know, if she was alive right now she would be this big, loud content creator like TS Madison level. They probably would have known each other.
Speaker 3:I love that. Well, thank you for sharing that story about Aunt Kiki. I think that she is, you know, her wisdom is, you know, embodied through you and you know, we love, we love Aunt Kiki. Want to quickly transition now to the kind of the current state of trans representation in media. We're living through, obviously a very dangerous moment where trans visibility is increasing, but also so are legislative attacks, you know, from executive orders banning gender, affirming, care, Just the list goes on, and it seems like every single day there's something new right? How do you see media playing a role in both the harm and healing of trans narratives?
Speaker 1:The harm doesn't come from the trans narrative itself, it's just people who, people who haven't yet either opened their hearts to learn or are just bigots. I mean, sometimes you just got to call a bigot a bigot and they're in positions of power where they can influence the narrative to appear negative were just one, one part of the target against dei initiatives. Right, and you know, I think people when they think of trans stories, it's like no, that's separate from dei, that's lgbtq, but lgbtq is part of dei and it's it's. It's created this kind of contention where people are just making talk about the trans lives and trans narratives for likes, for content, engagement, for speaking engagements or appearing on national outlets, when in reality, I guarantee you, a lot of them have not talked to a trans youth, have not engaged to a trans adult, or if they have, it's someone who is palatable, who is passable, who may not openly talk to that person about the experience. And then you're going to ask yourself why. So that's the harm. But the healing process is continuing to humanize our experience, continuing to not sit on the screen and argue whether or not we deserve equal rights. I mean, I wouldn't imagine us arguing about whether or not Black and brown folks are deserving of equal education and access to employment, so why should trans people do that?
Speaker 1:But I think we need to create more stories where the media can showcase and humanize our experience.
Speaker 1:Yes, shows like Pose were amazing, but let's have more shows that just show us just simply existing, where our transness isn't centered.
Speaker 1:We are trans, but we are still living our lives, still going through all the same things that many cisgender people go through, and that's kind of where I like to see myself in writing, where I write about my experiences or I give advice about experiences that are very similar to what many people whether you're straight or gay, cis or trans would have to deal with, whether it's romance, employment, shopping for clothes, which makeup do I use? I mean, a girl's going to go to the same store and we're just going to find the same makeup. Right, maybe, have a conversation about makeup, but I think this era we're in where people are just arguing for arguing's sake, it needs to be done and over with. I am someone that truly distanced myself from all forms of argument, whether that's wanting to appear on tv or for even social media. Right, I am not a person that will argue about my existence on social media it's not a conversation, it it is you?
Speaker 3:are here, you're existing, like that's it.
Speaker 1:There's no argument exactly, but like people will try to like go back and forth. I'm like, okay, if, if you're two plus two equals eight for you. I'm not. I I argued with someone once several years ago. Never did it again. Why? Because it's exhausting as hell. Yeah, I can't I. I honestly like, even to this day, I don't understand why people spend entire days just going out and arguing, unless you're getting paid to do it Right, which find a new career.
Speaker 1:I just don't understand why people like just feel the need to argue especially when it's something that doesn't impact you.
Speaker 3:Right, right, yeah, it's like why do you let something that is not related to you take up so much real estate in your mind, rent-free, like it doesn't help you. It just kind of makes your life and your existence and all the things that you think toxic, because you have such hatred towards people that you don't know that you feel fearful of for a lack of you not understanding what the existence is, and it's just kind of a waste of time, like it just there's no point and it's like let's just people exist and let them just live life as if you know they're anybody else, because reality is they are.
Speaker 1:And it's like and the sad thing is that it's such a small population in this country, right? Such a small population, it's not a quarter of the population, it's only 10% of the population. It's less than 5%, right? Maybe even 1%, I don't know, I'm not a statistician, but I know it's not like a large percentage for us to have this debate. But then again, we shouldn't even be having this debate, absolutely yeah, especially in a country born out of the notion to life, liberty and the pursuit of your happiness. Why it should just be a shut case. Why are we having this conversation?
Speaker 3:Exactly and I'm curious so, like we we've talked about, like the healing and the harm around how the media plays a role in trans narratives. But I guess, like, have you witnessed any significant media missteps or successes in recent years that you can kind of point to?
Speaker 1:The biggest misstep, and I'm going to call them out New York Times.
Speaker 3:Do it, call them out.
Speaker 1:I'm going to call them out and I hope they're seeing this, because shame on you. Call them out and I hope they're seeing this, because shame on you. I don't understand how you, how an outlet, a prestigious outlet, a legacy outlet, could continue publishing op-ed pieces that are overwhelmingly negative about the experience Right the majority of them, if not all of them written by people who aren't even living in the said experience Right. I've only seen one positive one and then, a few years later, I think within the past few weeks, they write a piece about how damaging I think the Trump administration is and how we got here, and I'm like you're part of it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:You've created space, you've held space, you're holding space for negativity, why? It just baffles me and I know in recent weeks we major outlets like CNN have provided opportunities for trans individuals to speak on the experience because for several years, there's been this lack of conversation, of including trans lives into this conversation and it's it's abysmal, yeah, and?
Speaker 3:and now they wait until, like, everything's done to like, oh, let's bring in our trans speakers, our trans Like you could have done that before and then we could have had a much nicer conversation in a different scenario completely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I. The one moment that broke my heart the most was seeing the trans youth, and I believe it was also on CNN, and she was just saying how, like, her greatest fear is dying and she couldn't bend no more than 10 years old.
Speaker 1:And just like being a victim because of the of the fomenting of hate in this country. It's just sad and I just wished more of the major outlets provided space, that it wasn't just limiting to the queer spaces to have these conversations. It should have been the major outlets, yeah, all the time, and it's not like we don't have these speakers. There's plenty of speakers, from hope giselle to ashley mary to Ashley Marie Preston. I know Raquel Willis Yep, sorry, girl, I'm so sorry, but yeah, I just like we have these established voices. They should have been part of those conversations and unfortunately those outlets never involved them, because that could have been moments to humanize our experience, instead of just having bobbleheads go back and forth about whether or not we deserve treatment, we deserve access to health care. I just hope that more of these outlets take the decision to keep including us in these conversations, because I know it's going to continue to happen over the next year or two. So I hope, by including trans voices, that is another element in humanizing our experience.
Speaker 3:Yeah, a hundred percent. And I mean like, looking at the media as a whole, many of like mainstream portrayals of black, trans women fall into, fall into like a lot of harmful tropes. Can you impact for me, like what are some of the most damaging stereotypes that you've encountered in media and how does your work challenge those narratives?
Speaker 1:I'm just tired of the trauma porn type of stories. We don't always have to be suffering. We can be seen as successful, we can be seen as courageous without having to like resort to these ongoing tropes of like we're, we're broken. For many of us, we break quickly, but then we're mended by having our chosen family around us. We don't always have to have these constant stories of just gloom and sadness. I'm personally waiting for my trans magical character. Yeah, like, that's what I personally want to see. I'm I'm tired and exhausted of seeing these often sad stories. I I haven't watched the new series featuring Libra and Cox yet.
Speaker 3:Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:I know that it doesn't just like center on her trauma, but it centers more on growth and having the parents learn and things like that. It doesn't always have to be sad. We can be amazing, courageous individuals. So that's. That's just the one thing I'm hoping for that we move away from like stories centered on our trauma and stories more centered on our joy and success.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think that's that's a great point. It's like a lot of that stuff is really like it's dated storytelling and it's like there's so much if the experience, the trans experience, is so expansive that like there are other stories to be told and they deserve to be told, because if people only receive this one negative narrative, they're going to, you know, passions, dreams, experiences that are not always that trauma porn, as you said, like it's it's more expansive and I think that those stories need to be highlighted in more everyday content, whether that's movies or TV shows. You know that that deserves to be told, because people need to know that this experience is much more than what the media makes it out to be, because people need to know that this experience is much more than what the media makes it out to be. I'm curious, like can you share like an example of a piece that you wrote or edited, even that you've actively worked to dismantle any of those stereotypes?
Speaker 1:Oh my God, there's so many. Yeah, this question kept stumping me. The only one I could think of was and even though it was centered on the trans investigations, it wasn't it. It mostly showed how, like the negative portrayals, impact cis women right shortly after the amana khalif incident last year.
Speaker 1:it was just devastating to see once again people like JK Rowling and others just trying to accuse a cis woman of being transgender. In fact, she was cisgender the whole time. Right, right, and the piece I wrote because it was, I want to say it was the same week I wrote a separate piece about Trump being Trump.
Speaker 1:But it was just showing how the transphobia doesn't just affect trans folks. It also impacts cis folks, especially cis women and most especially black and brown cis women, whether that's how Serena Williams looks on screen, whether that's Michelle, our former first lady, michelle Obama and how she appears, and, of course, monica Leif, and it's just. It's devastating. And this is where I hope and wish that this year more than ever, there's more conversations around intersectionality and the impact of intersectionality and dismantling, the impact of transphobia, the impact of this movement against body autonomy. And that was the only one I could think of.
Speaker 3:I'm so sorry no, that's great, that was amazing. What do you mean? And and just even like unpacking that, like what? What do you and this is kind of just a separate follow-up question but like with, like gender policing, I think that's an issue that I think affects everybody and it's it's like they almost want to discourage any type of unique or any, any, any behavior that doesn't fall in line with specific gender norms, or even just physically, like where do you think that stems from?
Speaker 1:it stems from the patriarchy. I mean, there's these preconceived ideals on what a woman should look like and, mind you, it's almost always what a white woman should look like, so everyone else must fall in line. And same thing, what masculine? How masculinity is presented, and it's usually through the guise of white cis men. And I think, for a lot of people, when they think about trans, trans individuals, especially trans women, they don't think that we come in a myriad of shapes and forms and looks.
Speaker 3:So kind of focusing on, like the, the political climate that we're experiencing right now, with policies restricting trans military recruitment, stripping gender affirming care access. What actions can media professionals and allies in general like take to counter these attacks on the community, and what role do you see advocacy journalism playing in holding these policymakers accountable?
Speaker 1:journalism playing in holding these policymakers accountable Well one. I feel that journalists as much as journalists report on this. I think there needs to be more of a deep dive on who is leading these efforts, and not just within the executive branch, also in the legislative branch and encouraging folks to contact their representatives. I think that's a big thing, even though it may feel like Trump. Is this all supreme leader? When it comes to the power of the purse, it's still within Congress's realm and I know in my role, I always encourage people to reach out to the representatives. But I implore people journalists, researchers, anyone to please contact your representatives because, at the end of the day, they hold the power of the purse For our allies.
Speaker 1:Help, not just call your representatives, but march. Don't just pay lip service, because I know a lot of people love paying lip service nowadays, especially with white cis folks when they're saying they're not those type of folks. Don't just pay lip service, because I know a lot of people love paying lip service nowadays, yep, especially with white cis folks when they're saying they're not those type of folks. Exactly, prove it. Put your money where your mouth is, yeah, exactly. Don't just say it. Don't just show up to the drag shows. Don't just show up to the gay bars for support. Truly, be out and marching on the streets, because if you're only there for the good times and you're not there for the bad, then why?
Speaker 2:are you?
Speaker 1:calling yourself an ally. Yeah, for media professionals, I think once again, it goes to continue to provide space for stories that humanize the experience as much as as as uh. Public service journalism continues to help and we continue to talk about advocacy. At the end of the day, stories have such a magical and powerful impact on so many lives.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So continue to talk about these issues, but also humanize them. Go find a trans youth and talk to them. Talk about how their experiences in school, how they deal with their families, talk about those dynamics, because when you humanize a story, it's so different than just like hearing another report and I think I could be wrong. Although I work in queer media, I could be wrong. So a lot of people are constantly. They have that fatigue. They are bombarded by all of this news every day about Trump's doing. I personally was hoping we would do less of it, but Trump came out punching. I think we need to find a new way of talking about these issues and it, honestly, is through humanizing these stories. Find a trans person in the military. Ask if they're willing to share their story, whether it's a journalist or just a community member. Have them talk.
Speaker 1:If there's one thing I've learned in my experience and this is why I always tell people, I'm a storyteller, not a journalist but stories have such an importance in our lives and I feel like that people will understand a story more than they will understand a report Right, yeah, yeah. And you know I can't say I, I learned that myself. It's actually someone who told me that, um, her name's danielle ponder and she was a lawyer turned, turned a singer, songwriter, and she said that she can always talk about the plight of black lives and like in a conference room, and I'll go in one ear right the other, but when she sings about it it's a different experience. You actually feel it, you inhale it, you learn to understand it and that's how I see storytelling. When we can humanize our experience through stories, people get a better feeling and understanding of what we're going through.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's very easy for me to report on someone not being able to get their passport because of the two sex laws or two sex executive order. It's not a law, but if I told you a story about someone who wanted to see a relative in a South American country and they weren't able to go, and why they weren't able to go, because of this law, what does it mean? How are they able? Who are they trying to see? Why were they trying to see them? And then you learn more and more. You feel a little bit differently, you learn differently and that's just woven within our human DNA. We're much more attuned to understanding stories than being bombarded by reports.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I think it's like that when, when you start to, like you said, to humanize the people and it's not just a statistic, you're able to build that connection with the person, to understand, like maybe they were visiting a dying relative and this is their only opportunity to see them.
Speaker 3:And now, with this new executive order that prevents, you know, trans people from having passports, you see the impact, the real world impact, of these policies that are harming people, that are effectively ruining their lives in a lot of ways, and they're all stemmed from hatred and from ignorance. And, you know, when it's not just a stat, it's more of a human story, human interest story. People are able to connect and they're able to understand deeper than they would otherwise, and I think that's super important for media professionals out there real life experience of trans people. Let them tell their own stories, bring them into the conversation, let them lead, because they will be the best people to communicate their needs, communicate their desires, communicate how this is impacting them, and we need to make sure that their voice is heard. Going on that kind of same topic, though, like your work, ensures that Black trans voices aren't tokenized like they are in a lot of national media, but they're centered authentically. What advice would you give to journalists, or even like content creators, uncovering trans stories responsibly?
Speaker 1:So the biggest thing for media outlets, big or small, especially big don't let your brand's ego stop you from publishing a story. If you're really passionate, fight to the nail. And the biggest example that I can give there was a Black trans artist, mila Jam. She performed during the Democratic National Convention, making her the first openly Black trans woman to perform at a convention for the Democratic Party. And the story wasn't one that was given to me, it was actually offered to Rolling Stones.
Speaker 1:I've been following her on social media for a while and she was so excited and she shared that she was about to get a piece published on merlin stones and then, I guess someone above the reporter I'm not sure if it was an editor or someone above the editor they decided to act the piece and I'm like that's rude. Yeah. So when so I reached out to her and I asked like why, what's what's happened? And she kind of insinuated that because she wasn't on the same level as like a Beyonce or Rihanna that she was, that she couldn't be good enough for Rolling Stones. So I was like, well, that's why you have to come to queer media. So I immediately talked about her story and her journey and, yeah, it was a great piece and I'm like I don't understand why these major brands they want to be part of the action but they want to make it on their terms.
Speaker 1:Talking and focusing on trans stories shouldn't always have to be about these major trans celebrities. It can be about anyone and everyone who is thriving. And also it looks good on a brand when you can say you know what, we talked to them first before they became this big star. We talked to them first. Maybe I'm wrong on it's just. It saddens me when, like brands like that just feel that they're too high and mighty. So I always ask any media outlet or any media professional don't center your brand into their story. Allow them to talk about their story through your brand.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Ooh, that was like a mic drop moment right there. I love that. Okay, so I want to kind of go back a little bit to your story and kind of the role of chosen family, cause you mentioned that at the beginning of this segment and you know, in your advocate article you wrote about how transitioning isn't just about medical steps, it's about community. How has chosen family supported you in times when systemic barriers made survival difficult, and can you share a personal story where Chosen Family made a critical difference in your journey?
Speaker 1:Actually, in my journey my Chosen Family definitely fractured. I had some friends who just didn't really I don't want to say they didn't understand, but they didn't really give me, don't want to say they didn't understand, but they didn't really give me the space to grow. And I think with a lot of people we always yearn to hold onto like someone's old version of themselves. If you ever have that one friend when you're at a party and they bring up something stupid and goofy that you did 10, 15 years ago, imagine having a group of people talking about you in that. So I always found new family and I found people connected. Interestingly, a lot of the people that I, a lot of my new chosen family that I met through my journey, they were all indirectly also connected to my aunt. Oh wow, and that was a very interesting thing. And it was actually through getting to know them that I realized how much of an impact my aunt had in their lives. And yeah, we journey together, we move together. You know, even in spaces and places where I'm at, I always make sure that I can bring them along for the ride as much as they brought me along for their rides of a chosen family, and especially when it's a group of badass Black trans women. There's just something amazing about that, yeah, and the thing is my chosen family continues to evolve and grow.
Speaker 1:There are people that have been on national outlets that I just I'm amazed that I can still call them like my sister, yeah, you know. Or they check in on me Like biggest one out there is Ashley Marie Preston. I met her through I think it was two years ago now of the Black Queer Creative Summit through GLAAD, and in that space I found like this, this, this found like this new, extended, chosen family of beautiful, strong, affirming, brave, courageous Black trans women who just continue to be themselves and continue to. I don't know how to say it, but like, basically, you know, in some way or another they took me under their wings and it's just, it's amazing. So the one thing about Chosen Family is that it keeps growing. At least for me, and that's just what I've assumed is that Chosen Family it doesn't just stop at a certain age or with a certain group. It just keeps growing and growing, if your heart is open to that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I'm curious like what are some tips you'd recommend for people who are trying to find chosen family?
Speaker 1:the things I did I wouldn't advise. Like with my core group. It was more of well, you know what? I would give the advice yeah, take it what you will. I'm not held accountable for it, but it's more of you know, there's something wrong with just going up and saying, oh my God, you are such an inspiration, thank you so much. Now their response could be very generic. Or, if their heart is also open, they could just take you, give you a big hug and like sit and spend time with you.
Speaker 1:Right, I am an anti-networker. I hate networking. Yes, whatever you do, do not come up to me at a networking event, don't. But if there's like a social group to do something or a social event to do something, or or a social event to do something, right, always go up to people. You never know where it can take you, like I've been amazed with always thinking back years ago, how, how and where I got to where I am today. It's completely through my chosen family and I'm forever thankful I'm and and I always tell people I my chosen family included a lot of drag queens and uh show girls and through them I'm, I'm where I am today and you just never know. Soize, but don't network.
Speaker 1:The love of Oprah, no networking.
Speaker 3:Amazing. So, looking ahead, what are the changes you would like to see holistically, in media policy culture you name it to better serve Black trans individuals.
Speaker 1:You name it to better serve Black trans individuals In media. I think we need to give more space to Black and brown trans voices, not just when something happens, not just when there's a certain observance day or month or week, 365 days, a year day or month or week, 365 days allow us to center our voices not just on our trauma, but also on our joy. I mean, if, if, if we can put as much effort into having a show or a segment centered on like trauma, imagine that how much energy could be put to good use when it's centered on trans businesses yeah, trans. Trans entrepreneurs, yeah, trans. And a trans engineer like that shapes how not only how the world sees us, but how we see ourselves when it comes to policies. I mean we need more assertive trans representation in congress.
Speaker 1:Now I know that one congresswoman sarah mcbride power to her, but I need her to be more assertive. Yes, I'm, I'm, we at this moment in time, being passive isn't going to cut it right. We need more assertive people who can speak up. I I need, like an aoc type of representative to like speak out and be more forward about it because, yeah, when, sadly, when you're the first and only trans person at the federal, in the federal legislature, I mean that burden is on you.
Speaker 1:Yes, but it shouldn't just be well, I'm going to focus my time on that. No, it should really focus your time on fighting back. Not fighting back quietly, fighting back loudly and proudly. And I say that and I know she's on the cover of our latest issue. So I know I'm going to get some flack for that and I'm okay with that, but overall, I just want us to have a time where we continue to balance the trans sorrow with the trans joy, because even today, I'm thinking about the latest, the trans man who was recently found unalived, and I know there will be focus on that.
Speaker 1:But we should also focus on his life and his hope and the things that he dreamed for and the things that he wanted in his life for and the things that he wanted in his life and that should be carried on into our hopes, our dreams, not just the spotlight shone on us when we're tearing at the seams, when the tears are on our faces, when we're beaten down and we're in the dust. Be there to celebrate our joy, be there to lift us up when we're lifting ourselves up, because that does so much, not just for the trans community, but for the entire society.
Speaker 3:Boom, that was great, absolutely Mic drop. Marina Lena, thank you so much for answering all those questions. I want to now shift the conversation to our compulsory questions, which are questions I like to ask all the guests that come on the Queerist podcast. These are more kind of lightning round, personality-based questions, so you could answer with one answer or, if you want to add context, we love context here, so let's just get into it. What is your go-to queer anthem that never fails to get you pumped?
Speaker 1:Oh, there's so many, oh, my god. Okay, okay, okay, okay, it depends. Okay, oh, okay, okay. So, getting Ready to Go Out for Cocktails is Yaya by Beyonce. Yes, getting Ready to Go to the Gym's? Abracadabra by lady gaga, because yes when it's going out on a date. Um, oh my god, um only girl in the world by rihanna yes, yes, that's it there's like different ones for different you got.
Speaker 3:You can't have just one, you have to have it for different occasions. So we, we love more players.
Speaker 1:Oh, and if I'm going to, if I'm taking myself out on a date, it's All Right. By Victoria Monet.
Speaker 3:Yes, love Victoria Monet. She's fantastic, Awesome. Next question is if your identity came with a warning label, what would it say?
Speaker 1:This is actually on my dating profile first she's sour, then she's sweet I love it.
Speaker 3:That's so good. Next question if you could have a trans superpower, what would it be? Trans superpower chain superpower chance so not just a simple power like flying, but like something that feels bespoke to the trans experience.
Speaker 1:Oh, I would want to give some Dang. That's a tough one. It's between turning a transphobe into a trans person or giving someone the ability to feel someone else's emotions.
Speaker 3:Ooh, I like that. That's a great one. Yeah, yeah, that's good, I like that. Next question is what is your favorite piece of trans content right now that you absolutely love, that you think the queerest audience needs to know about? It could be film, a show, a book, a podcast, whatever that really is like in your mind or not, that you just love that people need to check out okay, it's not.
Speaker 1:it's not trans-centric, but it's still like trans, affirming survival, uh, a survival of the yes. Season 2 is coming out soon. I cannot wait for it. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping I get to interview Michelle Buteau. That would be amazing, she's hilarious, yeah, but having Peppermint in the show is just amazing and I think this season she may have a larger part in the story. So yeah, Ooh.
Speaker 1:I think I saw like photos somewhere. I thought I thought peppermint shared them herself. Yes, I'm almost sure. But yeah, that's a show that I just can't wait to watch.
Speaker 3:I can't either. That's gonna be great. And then my last question is if you could give your younger self a piece of advice, what would it be?
Speaker 1:Two things. One, be kinder to yourself. Yes, and I think that's for a lot of youth, especially trans youth, because sometimes there are things that are outside of your control, that may feel like your journey is just going to be cut short. But also remember there's hope that, no matter what's happening in the world, you will continue to thrive and survive, because that's the story of the trans experience it's thriving and surviving under any pressure and condition.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, that's beautiful. I love that. Maria and Alina, thank you so much for your time, your insights, your courage. Your work reminds us that trans joy is resistance and storytelling is activism. Your words today have not only illuminated the urgency of representation, but have also reinforced the unbreakable spirit of Black trans resilience. Is there anything that you'd like to share with the audience of any projects you have coming up before we close out?
Speaker 1:Yeah, the launch of my new weekly column Ask Lovable Trans. Auntie it's on. It is published every Wednesday on Advocatecom every Wednesday on advocatecom and it's just answering questions about everyone's journey through life and giving some journeys of my own. There's been some interesting ones. But of course, always like and follow me on social media at lovabletransteam.
Speaker 3:Amazing. And one final note you know, for the trans community and the wider community at large, trans rights are under attack, but our community is stronger than the forces that try to erase us. The stories we tell shape the future we build. Let this be a call to action support trans creators, protect trans youth and hold leaders accountable for policies that endanger our lives.
Speaker 3:Whether you're a journalist, an activist or an ally, your voice matters. It's not just about visibility. This is about ensuring safety, dignity and justice for Black and brown trans individuals. Share trans stories, challenge bigotry, demand systemic change, advocate for policies that protect and uplift trans communities, celebrate trans resilience loudly and create spaces where trans individuals can thrive. We also need to build coalitions, amplify marginalized voices and continue educating those who have yet to understand the struggles. The fight for justice is ongoing and it requires all of us. Together, we are unstoppable and together, together, we will continue to forge a future where Black trans voices are not just heard, but they're celebrated. Thank you again, riyad Alina, for this interview. You are fantastic, an icon and a lovable trans auntie. Thank you all for tuning in.
Speaker 2:Thank you, bye, bye, and that's a wrap for this episode of the Queerest Podcast. Thank you for joining us on this cosmic journey through the queer universe. If today's conversation resonated with you, be sure to like, subscribe and share it with your chosen family. Your voice helps grow the queerest community. Until next time, stay curious.